AUTHOR'S NOTE: This text uses the word "faggot" intentionally and critically. I don't direct it against LGBT people who freely live their sexuality, but against men who repress their sexual orientation and turn it into an instrument of power, violence, or coercion. The intention is both ethical and political, and it's not intended to be insulting.
I received a "like" on Facebook Dating that made me curious, repulsive, alarmed, and indignant. A handsome man with several seductive photos on his profile, except for one where he appeared with a long firearm and the tactical operations uniform of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Yes, dear reader, the repressive apparatus is even present on dating apps.
That photo wasn't seductive; it was a subtle message of surveillance and eroticized power. A test to see if I, too, would submit to the fetish of the uniform, to the desire of the armed macho man. I wrote to him: "Do you think showing a photo in a law enforcement uniform and carrying a long gun makes you more attractive and tempting? Save the macho persona. I'm looking for confident men." And then I blocked him—not out of fear, but dignity.
That's one of the many extremists who have surfaced in progressive Massachusetts, made visible and emboldened by Trump's rhetoric. Boston, as the capital city of Massachusetts, is a progressive bubble. However, Trump supporters have gained an advantage in the rest of the state. And gays are no exception.
Those are men who don't completely hide, but display themselves in spaces where they can dominate, gauge reactions, and seduce from their uniforms. The man I encountered doesn't seem to separate his personal life from his professional role. And who knows if he's there to track immigrants or informally recruit for paramilitary groups.
Hypermasculine Trump supporters in uniform are the drag and fascist version of the closet. They don't wear sequins, but every piece of clothing they choose is charged with an eroticism they refuse to name.
They wear slim-fit shirts, cargo pants, tactical vests, wide leather wrist bands on both hands, and wooden bead bracelets carefully chosen to appear both rigid and natural. They're no coincidence; it's a theatrical masculine performance.
And when they appear on a dating app with a guns in hand and a Homeland Security vest, they're not looking for love; they're seeking to confirm their dominance. They test who to intimidate, who they can seduce in uniform, and who they can turn into an echo. They're not looking for a partner, but loyalty to an ideal. And if they have sex, it's to reaffirm power, not pleasure, affection, or love.
There is a well-known homosexual Trump supporter on social media who offers masculinity workshops in Florida, but he rejects his sexual orientation. His cognitive dissonance is so strong that he describes sex between men as a tribal affinity, not as affection or romance. He speaks slowly, controls his gestures, and measures his words with the same tension that represses his fragility. His gestures are so fake that they seem like they're from courses in masculine refinement.
I'm not frightened by desire between men, but by repressed desire when it dresses in the uniform of the repressive apparatus, disguises itself as patriotism, and points guns in the name of order—that desire, instead of caressing, harms. Instead of loving, it dominates.
What I found in that app wasn't a gay man, but an emissary of fear. A faggot of power. A macho man who doesn't dare to live freely or love, and therefore needs to control. I write against the desire that goes unnamed and the affection that is denied. I write against fascism disguised as macho.
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